Slim Line

Announcing the first-ever winner of Mocktail Goals’ Wall of “No”: the Slim Line.

The ingredients didn’t enthuse me, especially the artificial sweetener. I immediately knew I’d be tossing that mother out. Too 80s in an upsetting way for me.

That’s when I paused. Didn’t I buy Jill Cox’ book to learn what that decade served up besides virgin cocktails? Surely the Slim Line wasn’t featured with the good intentions of a bad fad.

I set out to understand the Slim Line, making four variations. I subbed out the low-fat plain yogurt and artificial sweetener for Greek vanilla yogurt in one round and non-dairy vanilla yogurt in the second. Then I made two more rounds of each mixed with twice as much juice.

Slim Line from Jill Cox’ The Non-Alcoholic Pocket Bartender’s Guide

Low-fat plain yogurt
Grapefruit juice
Artificial sweetener
Ground cloves

Equipment: hand blender

Me: The smell of clove was promising. I’m glad I nixed the artificial sweetener. I preferred the ones mixed with less juice because the flavors were married more. A decent base for a fruit-only smoothie for sure, but I wasn’t a fan of this duo on its own.

GJ: I was not looking forward to any of this. They were sour in a bad way on the one hand. The flavor grew on me after the first sip…but not by much. I liked the creaminess, but it was just a weird drink that the swaps didn’t make or break.

Another round? These were the first drinks we couldn’t finish. Not in a “grody to the max” kind of way, but we didn’t feel obligated to keep drinking after our tasting sesh. Down the drain they went.